I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
