Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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