sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
