i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
