Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
