we have pet lesbian snakes
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
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