I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
it was like his penis was on wheels.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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