I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
