i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
