So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
