I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
whose ass print is on the piano?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
