My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
