Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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