Joe is yelling at the trees again.
she looked like the before picture.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize