Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
