HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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