it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
