then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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