Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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