He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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