I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
