I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
