Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
