May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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