I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
