were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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