i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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