ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
My vagina is very pro this idea
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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