Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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