What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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