He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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