If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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