hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
