Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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