Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
