So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
