Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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