A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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