dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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