Whod you bang
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
