i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
