Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
This baby is an asshole
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
