Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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