I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Floor bacon is actually really good
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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