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I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
