I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
