He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I intend to get homeless drunk
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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