You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize