I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
