I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
