Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
