we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize
