Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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