the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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