he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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