He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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