Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize