never play flip cup with pint glasses
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Randomize