Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You were trust falling into bushes
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
