Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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