I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize