mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
