you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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