i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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