no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
